Encircled Fully

“When we pay attention to nature’s music,
we find that everything on the Earth contributes to it’s harmony.”
Hazart Inayat Khan

butterfly world

by Kathryn Beggs Howlett

I woke up this morning to Nature’s music, bird song. The Baltimore orioles with their bright orange, sang to welcome the rising sun. It was comforting and peaceful and the feeling was one of harmony and an awareness of cycles. The world engages in a beautiful dance all the time.

There is a beautiful chant/song based on the Navajo  I sing with my preschoolers, we call it, “May There Be Beauty in Front of Me”. It’s real name is the “Blessing song”.

Walking in Beauty: Closing Prayer from the Navajo Way Blessing Ceremony
In beauty I walk
With beauty before me I walk
With beauty behind me I walk
With beauty above me I walk
With beauty around me I walk
It has become beauty again
Hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shitsijí’ hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shikéédéé hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shideigi hózhóogo naasháa doo
T’áá altso shinaagóó hózhóogo naasháa doo
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Today I will walk out, today everything negative will leave me
I will be as I was before, I will have a cool breeze over my body.
I will have a light body, I will be happy forever, nothing will hinder me.
I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me.
I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty above me.
I walk with beauty around me. My words will be beautiful.
In beauty all day long may I walk.
Through the returning seasons, may I walk.
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.
With dew about my feet, may I walk.
With beauty before me may I walk.
With beauty behind me may I walk.
With beauty below me may I walk.
With beauty above me may I walk.
With beauty all around me may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.
My words will be beautiful…

dancing hoop girl

Dancing girl by KBH

 

I Walk in Beauty Libana

Walk In Beauty 

Whether sung or chanted or simply remembered, these words are powerful…..as we walk through our day, be aware of the beauty of the connections in life. The things that bring us life, love, awareness…walk in beauty with love for all.

This morning before I opened my eyes, listening to the Baltimore orioles, I remembered these words. Within the circle of these words I lay wrapped in love, resting in comfort and security, the sun just risen, the smell of freshness coming in through the open windows and I felt deep in my bones the desire and commitment to walk in beauty today……to be aware of it all, before me, behind me, above me, below me, all around me.

I found a variation on this chant that is equally as moving:

Looking behind I am filled with gratitude,
looking forward I am filled with vision,
looking upwards I am filled with strength,
looking with I discover peace.”
~Sukhraj S. Dhillon

In recovery from a ruptured aneurysm, I have to be very mindful to carry these words into my life every day. It’s too easy to get lost in my head and lose sight of the moments of beauty, gratitude, peace, vision, hope, and joy that I walk next to every day. We are always step by step together if I can only remember to lift my head and my eyes up and forward. Then I not only see, but understand that I am always encircled fully by love, gratitude, vision, strength, peace, hope, beauty and so much more. There is a harmony that is truly ever more balanced than I can always understand.

There are gold finches at the bird feeders, looking in through the window singing and chirping. They bring a smile to my face, and a flutter to my heart and a sigh with my breath…..beauty all around me. No matter what I may think or feel at any given moment, if I can only pause, I find I can regain the feather lite balance between “this Moment” and with “Beauty. ”

I still have to use a map to stay on this road and not get lost. There are many forks in the road and not enough road signs with arrows directing me or information to let me know I am, in fact, on the right road. But, I sense that I am. I need only trust the way and keep my awareness awake.

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Deep Gratitude

“Every moment presence shows me that I am already home
and I am so deeply grateful for this gift of love.” unknown

quote

Some days bring more contentment than others. I find that the feeling is softer and more  flowing if I am able to be internally still and quiet. In this space I do feel as if I am at home within myself and I become filled up with love.

“Home” is where we can take off the cloak of whatever we wear to get through the day, and we can relax into the stillness that wraps us up in a soft blanket of love. As concerns and worry also relax into this warmth we settle in to our “home”. “Home”  in the sense of the place where we can feel nurtured and safe. The place within us where we let everything fall away so that only the essence of our heart’s contents remain.

In this space of stillness and contentment the ups and downs of the day, the swing of emotions, the voices of doubt, fear, desire and worry come into balance with presence, stillness, gratitude, and “enough”.

Personally, I have to decide to go to this place, to let go of whatever I am holding on to and wallowing in. I have to put my trust in to something I can not even explain.  Sometimes it is difficult to trust the step towards gratitude and contentment because it often feels so elusive and unattainable. In fact, once the footing is made, it is not difficult to pause in the stillness of this place and breath deeply and rest there in the internal stillness. The something that fundamentally believes this moment is enough and full, lacking for nothing. It is difficult some days to be able to get there. It is nested within gratitude. Here I find big and little blessings in life and giving them the room they deserve to be powerful and worthy of being the shift in what I see and how I feel in the moment.

This one moment is what is. The memory I have of something different may be sweet and bring a smile to my face, but when the memory is replaced by a current event: the cat throwing up, the kitchen timer going off, the mailman knocking at the door, it may not even linger as a memory.

So today my Sunday day of rest is begun with a deep exhale and finding some stillness where I am able to reflect on the blessings I am gifted every day.  While there is no brightly wrapped box, the emotions are just about the same. Anticipation, discovery and gratitude.

This isn’t always easy for me, but I do have a very organic feeling that the awareness and effort does make a difference. A few moments of gratitude seem to be able to soften any negative thought or feeling as the perspective changes from what is lacking to what is.

Even within the challenges of recovering from an aneurysm there are places where it is possible to pause and change the perspective. Yes, recovery is hard work, sometimes even challenging.  Yet, it is possible to find the one spot where there is balance, even if it is fleeting. That sweet spot where gratitude tames restlessness and desire. Where the longing for being or doing something different detours to the scenic overlook where the simple act of being in this one spot allows for a wider panoramic view.

We may look back and longingly wish we could return to what we believe to be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to us, but in looking behind us we may miss the most most beautiful thing right in front of us. Maybe? I believe so.

Spring is in the air here in the Northeast. The light is different. The birds are singing more. The deer and other wildlife are scouting for food. I am recovering and experiencing deep gratitude that I am stronger than I know, and have more opportunities to hug those I love so dearly.

Enjoy your Sunday.